Haystacks

Attention in the airport:

"Attention. Your attention, please. If you are intoxicated, obnoxious, traveling with small, boisterous children or just left of sane, please check in at the  desk now. The Wards have been assigned seating and we may now begin seating around them. Thank you and enjoy your flight."

Right smart cold

Winter is arriving late here in East Tennessee. We've had record high temperatures all through the months of December, January and February. It looks like March is going to adhere to the old saying, "In like a lion; out like a lamb".
My grandfather told us back in August it would be cold but not much in the way of snow this year. Actually, what he said was, "It won't weather much, but it will get a right smart cold."

So this is us, outside this morning clearing off the snow. We only got about 3 inches where we live, but friends in nearby Butler got close to a foot of snow.

We fly out tonight for Orlando. A weekend in the warm Florida sunshine is just what the doctor ordered. The Wards are tired of being a right smart cold.

We're live!

Hi and welcome to The Wards on Oscar night. What is this all about? I really couldn't tell you. If my Internet holds up, we'll be doing live commentary on the Oscars as they happen. Fashion. Nominees. Winners. Witty banter. We do this every year and this year we thought we would share it with you.
I'll be adding to this post as we go along, so if you're checking back occasionally throughout the evening the most current thoughts will be at the top. Here we go!

*****

Thanks for joining me for an amazingly underwhelming Oscars ceremony. Imagine how bland it would have been without the writers...

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Best Picture:

Atonement

Juno

Michael Clayton

No Country for Old Men

There Will Be Blood

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Actor in a Leading Role:

George Clooney

Daniel Day-Lewis 

Johnny Depp

Tommy Lee Jones

Viggo Mortensen

I'm pulling for Viggo. It's a long shot.

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Diablo Cody just won for Best Screenplay for JUNO.  Only a few years ago she was a stripper writing a blog about stripping. Ain't that America?

Can I just tell you, if you get awarded an Oscar by Harrison Ford, that is a free pass to kiss Han Solo. Why? Oh tell me why, you would ever miss an opportunity like that?

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When we return... HARRISON FORD!

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Finally! An exciting presentation of nominees. The nominees for Best Documentary Short Subject were read via satellite by soldiers  in Baghdad.

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This is the part of the show were I repeatedly say, "He died?!?"

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Good for the Academy for allowing the winner of Best Song to come back out after she was played off to say her THANK YOU's. What a lovely moment.

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Best entrance of the night goes to John Travolta.

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Diane Lane, there's a camera on you! Isn't that your cue to remove your shirt?

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Fellow Tennessean, Nicole Kidman.

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Actress in a Leading Role:

Cate Blanchett

Julie Christie

Marion Cotillard

Laura Linney

Ellen Page

I'm pulling for Julie Christie, but the buzz from JUNO may be enough to pull Ellen Page ahead.

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Does anyone else think Josh Brolin's face takes up too much space on his head?

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Congratulations to Jessica Alba. She was this year's Hot Chick Chosen to Host the GEEK Awards.

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As much as I love Tilda, I have to ask: What WAS she wearing? It looked like 2 dresses sewn together in the middle. With the body shape of a 14 year old boy there isn't much she couldn't wear and she chose to cover herself in a shapeless satin, half to the wrist cuff and half sleeveless sheath.  Call immediately and make an appointment with Hillary Swank stylist.

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Actress in a Supporting Role:

Cate Blanchett

Ruby

Dee

Saoirse Ronan

Amy Ryan

Tilda Swinton

I have a soft spot in my heart for Tilda Swinton. She was lead in one of my all time favorite films, ORLANDO.

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"Raise It Up" from AUGUST RUSH was by far more inspiring than the "Whistle While You Work" Reprise.

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Tommy Lee Jones and Viggo Mortensen are both nominated for lead actor. I'm torn.

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Actor in a Supporting Role:

Casey Affleck

Javier Bardem (no surprise there)

Philip Seymour Hoffman

Hal Holbrook

Tom Wilkinson

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There will be a Southern Baptist uprising! THE GOLDEN COMPASS just won an Oscar (for visual effects). The Powers of Darkness prevailed.

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Jon Stewart just called me out, claiming during the commercial breaks the stars "sit around making catty remarks about what you people at home are wearing! It goes both ways, people!" That's half the fun of watching the show, isn't it?

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Rattatouille should have been nominated for BEST FILM. Not just BEST ANIMATED FILM, which it just won.

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I love a good retrospective. :) "Good evening Hollywood phonies."

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The first award is for costume design. One of my favorites. My pick won. ELIZABETH: THE GOLDEN AGE - Alexandra Byrne.  She looks remarkable like the costume designer from THE INCREDIBLES. If everyone gave speeches that short, gracious and without any political slant, we can close the baby down by 11 pm.

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So far, Helen Mirren gets my nod for best dressed in her regal red gown. Stunning.

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Good luck to Jon Stewart. He has to be funny in an evening honor films about corporate corruption, cold blooded killers, teenage pregnancy, and war.

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They are falling all over themselves to nominate Clooney. Clooney's date looks like she's wearing shimmering camouflage.  Marion Cotillard is nominated for the leading role in THE LITTLE MERMAID, right? She's dressed like a fish.

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REGIS! A great start. The man is full on class.

And the Oscar goes to...

The biggest night in movies is Sunday. Join me here at Haystacks for live blog coverage. If all goes as planned, I'll be updating my post throughout the night.

Live from Daryl's House

Back in the day, I was a big fan of radio pop and therefore I was a fan of the king daddy duo of radio pop: Hall & Oates. I had all their records and I do mean records, i.e., vinyl.

Hall & Oates fell out of the mainstream in the late 80's. Daryl Hall went on to record several solo projects but never achieved the same chart success. You can argue the merit of the H&O sound, if that does it for you, but whatever the conclusion there is no denying that Daryl Hall has one of the most distinctive voices in pop music. Back in the day, they called it blue eyed soul.

You may be reading this and saying, "WHO?' Maybe it was all before your time. Or you may be thinking, "I loved them! I danced to them in eighth grade!" Either way, give this website a try. Daryl has set up a recording studio in his (still under construction) house.

(You have to register to view the episodes, but there is no charge and so far I haven't received any spam from the site. )

The Blackboard Jungle

I was honored when a local high school invited me to teach a once a week, one hour class on Sign Language.  I was anxious about working with teenagers.  They can turn on you, you know? With little or no warning, I might add.

I arrived at the school and met the teacher. She gave me some basic information about the kids and the purpose of the classes. The kids poured in with the usual chaotic rush that lends itself to a high school classroom. My introduction, a few polite exchanges and...

"ATTENTION! ALL STUDENTS, ALL FACULTY: LOCK DOWN. REPEAT. WE ARE IN LOCK DOWN."

The loud speaker blared. The people scattered.

What? Wait...what?

We were corralled into a small utility closet sized room. The teacher exchanged a few text messages with colleagues and determined it was a drug raid. We heard the dogs outside our room. One teenager regaled us with a tale of a vicious drug dog's reaction  to people trying to sneak down the hallway during lock down. Trapped in a tiny room with 12 teenagers, I was considering making a run for it.

We settled in; on the floor, atop the washer and dryer, and we had sign class. The kids seemed to enjoy it. They asked good questions, picked up quickly on the hand shapes and laughed at all my jokes. Forty five minutes later there was a knock at the door. A code word was whispered and the drama ended.

I have 8 more classes to go. I can't imagine it could be more exciting than today, but I'm truly looking forward to it.

       

Indy IV

"It's not the years, honey. It's the mileage." ~Indiana Jones

With the fourth installment of the Indiana Jones series slated for a May 2008 release, twenty-seven years after the original, the question lingers: Is Harrison Ford too old to be an action hero?

Harrison Ford is 65. In today's youth culture that's just hours short of dead. Yes, forty is the new thirty and thirty is the new twenty, but sixteen is,  and always shall be, sixteen. Will today's audience buy into a man their grandpa's age swinging from the rafters by a leather whip? (Admit it, that gives you a very weird visual.)

Unlike James Bond, the character of Indiana Jones seems tethered to one actor. In order for this project to go forward the triune had to be in place; Spielberg/Lucas/Ford. Would the series continue successfully with a younger actor in the lead? Or is Ford's portrayal of our flawed hero so iconic, it cannot be tampered with?

Don't let these questions mislead you. I am a die hard Harrison Ford fan. I would probably pay the $7 to watch the man read a phone book.  I believe my generation, (that's the kids of the 80's, if you're keeping score) will turn out for this movie. We are nothing if not nostalgic. And I further contend that we will be given an adventurous ride.  But taking note of the mileage readings, I wonder how long this ride can continue.

(addendum: Years ago I worked with a girl who adored Bruce Willis. She once made this statement to me: "He could be 350 lbs, bald with a goiter on his neck and I would STILL think he was the sexiest man alive!"  I suppose I feel that way about Harrison Ford.  Sixty-five? Seventy-five? One hundred and five? I would STILL think he is the sexiest man alive.)

Love never fails

 

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs. 
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 
It always protects,
always trusts,
always hopes,
always perseveres.
Love never fails.

Last night the youth led the worship service. All the kids, from kindergarten to senior high participated. Using I Corinthians 13, the kids did skits, "LOVE IS...".  I have heard this chapter preached and taught many times, but never quite like this. In this season of $5 greeting cards and $40 flower bouquets, it is good to be reminded of the true meaning of love.

"Love never fails." How can we believe that in a time of 50% divorce rates? Failed relationships and broken families seem to disprove these words. Love never fails because when given with an attitude of trust, hope, protection and perseverance,  it is never in vain. Love given strengthens us as much as if not more than love received. We are never less for having loved.

After you have made the reservations and ordered the flowers, look around you and find those who could use some patience and kindness. Set aside your self interest and make today about someone else's goals and accomplishments. Let this day of love be the day you stop keeping records of wrongs.  All these things are an act of love. And love never fails.

Happy Valentines Day.

                                           

By any other name...

My friend Jill is pregnant with her third son and they are having some trouble coming up with yet another boy's name.  We talked last week and tossed around a few names, but none really grabbed her.
"You know, maiden names are very popular for first names." I never knew Jill before she was married so I asked, "What about that? What's your maiden name?"
Flatly, she answered, "Eggermyer".

I'm out of the baby naming business.

A strange beauty

I have no idea how to introduce this  blog to you. It is a technical, raw, emotional journal of a woman whose job is to euthanize sick and injured animals. Her running report of the animals she comforts, cries over and kills is strange and beautiful.  (via Neil Gaiman)

http://whatikilledtoday.blogspot.com/

I grew up around animals. It was not uncommon for sick or injured animal to be taken behind the coal shed and "put down". We all knew the exact moment it happened,  as we would stand just out of sight and wait  with quiet tears for the gun to fire.  I remember hating the person who fired the gun, if only for a few hours.

As an adult, the first animal I had to have put down was a beloved cat. I will never forget the way the vet stroked his head and spoke quietly as the drugs stopped his heart. I didn't hate the vet. I was thankful for him. I have a great appreciation for those who take on the heart breaking responsibility of ending the suffering of animals.

This isn't a blog I could read on a regular basis, but I admire the depth of  the writer's short entries. Read the sidebar profile before you read any of the posts. You'll have a greater appreciation of the strange beauty her blog examines.