Haystacks

A letter to my future self

A came across a psych exercise designed to help chronic pain patients deal with the (sometimes frightening) future. The assignment is to write your future self a letter; Dear Me, 2038.  Here is mine...


Dear Traci 2038,

It is strange to hear from me, I'm sure. I wonder if you will think fondly on me. Will your memories of me bring a smile to your face? I hope so.

First, I want to apologize. I imagine you are not in the best of health. You probably are dealing with arthritis pain and living with the results of years of neglect and abuse to your body. I take full responsibility for that, but in my defense, 2028 seemed a lifetime away and as you know, I'm more of a 'live in the moment' kind of gal. I am sorry if my actions caused you pain. Maybe it would help you to take down the photo albums I left for you in the attic. Read through them and know that the pain wasn't for nothing. All those memories came at a cost, I know, but I believe it was a bargain. I hope you will agree.

Do you still color your hair? Everyone is bound to know you're not really a brunette at this point. Perhaps you have let it go silver. I'm sure it's stunning! Is it still long? It took me so long to grow it out. Don't let people tell you you're too old for long hair. What do they know? Who cares what they think?

Is your little house filled with books? How many cats do you have? Be honest. Did you get that bulldog you always wanted? What is his/her name?

By now Hayley has been married for many years. You must be a great Aunt many times over. Did she give them those ridiculous names no one could pronounce or remember? Do you just call them Sweetie and Honey like Mamaw did with all of us? Do any of them look like me, like Hayley did as a child? Has seeing Hayley start a family ever made you regret your choice not to have children?

Do you still keep in touch with my friends? Are all the old jokes still funny? Have you forgotten them? Please try to remember. I promise you will laugh until you cry.

I want to ask if Jason is still with you, but the thought of it being otherwise is too overwhelming for me to consider.  

Wherever this letter finds you, my prayer is that you are happy. Not the kind of happiness that ebbs and flows with the circumstances of the moment, but the kind of true joy that gives your life purpose and peace.


Much Love,

Traci 2008




Share your letter. You can write it in the comments or post a link to your site.

A knight in shining armor

When I turned 18, I went to work in a local factory. My first real paycheck was $127 and some change. After I paid my 1/3 of the rent and put a few dollars back for food and gas, I had a little more than $50 left over. I can tell you exactly what I purchased. I can tell you because HE is standing in the corner looking back at me.

HE is Enrique; a 5 ft tall suit of armor. I haggled the guy down to $45 and loaded him into the back of my 1980 mustang. I proudly displayed him, standing at the foot of my bed. Sometimes when my roommates got too noisy, I would reach out with my foot and send him crashing to the floor. This was a clear sign that I thought it was too early and I was not ready to be awakened.

He has been decorated at Christmas with lights and Santa hats. He has stood guard in dining rooms, bedrooms and bathrooms. Through all my relationships, roommates and moves, Enrique has stuck with me. I once commented to a friend that I knew I would have to abandon him one day. "What responsible adult has a suit of armor in her house?" She was shocked. "When do you plan on becoming a responsible adult?"

I have become a responsible adult, but I still display Enrique in our little office. He is a wonderful reminder of youthful impulsiveness. He stands rigid, ever at attention, reminding me to loosen up.

Turn the page

Okay, click the page would be more accurate. I've decided to use the Pages feature of Typepad to chart my Mission 101 progress. Check out the sidebar for my list and posts about the completed items. This will allow me to keep a record and keep those interested up to date without constantly referencing Mission 101.

Good idea? Better idea? I'm all ears...

The Worst Joke Ever

Remember this album cover from R.E.M?



















This is our version in Nashville.
                                                                           

Reconnecting to Mission 101

Way back in March I posted about Mission 101. My original plan was to finish the list and start marking things off by April 1, 2008. Ah, the best laid plans of mice and men...and bloggers...

Welcome to the new and improved Mission 101: Traci B. Ward edition! (Que the confetti!) My new goal is to finish the list and begin living it (oficially) on July 2, 2008; my 39th birthday. One of the primary focuses of this project for me is to begin living NOW. Don't think I'm putting off until 7/02 what I should be living today. I'm not, but it seems like a great official date. Thirty-nine is a milestone birthday for most women and I'm looking to make mine a positive experience.

Be watching for a list update this weekend. And thanks for the nudges from friends and readers. ;)


*Edit: 11:47 pm   I finished the list!

One note wonders

Sound Opinions (The Worlds Only Rock and Roll Talk Show) recently did a show on One Note Wonders. No, not one HIT wonders, that's a completely different subgenre. This was a discussion on bands who reproduce the same sound again and again, song after song, album after album.  Here is their list and a few comments about the sound of these One Note Wonders. They may only do one thing, but they do it really well.

The Ramones : A 25 year career built on playing 3 chords in slight variation.

Motorhead: Fast. Loud. Adrenaline rush.

StereoLab: "We look at everything we do as a giant iceberg. We go in a pick off a little ice at a time." ~Tim Gain of StereoLab

Rage Against The Machine: Basic 3-4 minute songs. I dare you to find a difference in any of the 3 studio recordings.

Cocteau Twins: Who needs songs when the sound is this beautiful?

The Smiths: Teen angst, self loathing and melodrama, told and retold beautifully

CCR : John Fogerty went to court to prove he only has one sound.

Beirut: Their music can be diagrammed like a sentence.

AC/DC: A bridge of punk and metal, hinged on Young's rhythm guitar.

There is not disdain in the listing of these artists. I happen to be a fan of many of them. There is something to be said for sustaining a career on one guitar lick, one pattern, one emotion;  to be so loved by fans that you can release the same album a dozen times. Successfully.

Want to cast your vote for a One Note Wonder?

Question?

In her new memoir, AUDITION, television journalist Barbara Walters tells the story of how she came upon the most revealing question she has ever asked; "What is the biggest misconception about you?"

Walters recalls first using the question with the opera singer Maria Callas, who had been in love with Greek shipping magnate Aristotle Onassis. Callas did not want to discuss Onassis or his new wife, Jacqueline Kennedy, so instead, Walters asked the singer to address the public's misconceptions.

"And she launched into a big thing about Aristotle Onassis and Jackie Kennedy," remembers Walters, who adds that she uses the question to engage her subjects on topics that might otherwise be off limits:

If you ask subjects about the biggest misconceptions about themselves, "very often they will come out with the very thing that people want to know [but that subjects] have not wanted to talk about," Walters says.

(National Public Radio)

What is the biggest misconception about you?

I believe the biggest misconception about me is that I'm hard hearted or cold. I am very much aware of my emotions and sometimes expend great energy keeping them in check. That doesn't make me unfeeling, it makes me guarded.

Get your TV geek on

I think I know how that first Neanderthal felt when he clicked two pieces of flint together and saw sparks fly. As the tiny spark grew into a burning flame, he probably thought, 'This is the coolest thing in the history of the world. " Ladies and gentlemen, THIS is the coolest thing in the history of the world.

Fancast.com offers hours of episodic television. Name your poison: Star Trek: The Original Series, Adam-12, Alfred Hitchcock, The Dick Van Dyke Show, Twilight Zone, Perry Mason. Besides the classics there are those from the 'We Hardly Knew Ye' category: Bionic Woman (2008), Journey Man. Monk, Medium, The Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother and all the CSI incarnations are among the available current shows.

Did I mention it's free?

Bootleg much?

Having been warned more than once to put away the camera, I gave up trying to video at the Paul Simon concert. I instead opted for turning the video on and pointing to the floor to nab the audio. It came out pretty well. Now, to rip the audio from the AVI file...
Enter,  Free Audio Extractor. A quick download later  I have audio files from the concert. I highly recommend this free software for all your illegal recording needs.

Amos Lee sings HOMEWARD BOUND

Amos Lee sings NOBODY

Paul Simon and Josh Groban sing BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATERS

American Tunes: Love in Hard Times

 

The Brooklyn Academy of Music hosted a tribute concert to Paul Simon. It was one of the most incredible musical experiences of my life. I believe the best way to review this show is song by song, highlighting each artists. Otherwise, we could be here all night...

American Tune, Another Galaxy, Cecilia: The Roches - This sister act got noticed when Paul Simon used them as background vocalists for his 1973 record, There Goes Rhymin' Simon. Their tight harmonies gave a fullness to the lonely soundscapes of American Tune and Another Galaxy. The most memorable part of their performance for me was the uninhibited dancing during Cecilia; complete abandon.

Graceland, Mother and Child Reunion: Grizzly Bear - I've heard several artists cover Graceland. Grizzly Bear has knocked Willie Nelson off the perch as my favorite. The moody 4 piece band brought a spirituality to it I had never felt before. Magic. Their interpretation of Mother and Child Reunion gets the award for best of the evening. They stripped the song down to a singular, bottom heavy,  beat driven mantra. I was amazed at the stark, raw rendering of the upbeat song. It was turned inside out.

Peace Like A River, Nobody, Homeward Bound: Amos Lee - His sweet, simple vocal style speaks to the longing found in every heart. Amos Lee is the 2008 version of the 1965 Paul Simon.

Slip Slidin' Away, Still Crazy After All These Year:  Olu Dara - When Olu Dara strode across the stage, the crowd applauded. He took his seat and waited for the crowd to quieten. "You have no idea who I am, " he stated. "Y'all would clap for anybody right now. I'm Olu Dara. Now you can applaud." I confess, I did not know who Olu Dara was, but I could see in the slight, weather figure there were no less than three lifetimes of stories to be told. Olu Dara (whose name means 'God is good), brought out the narrative Simon's work. He is a master storyteller.

America, Silent Eyes, Bridge Over Troubled Waters: Josh Groban - I have no doubt you know who Josh Groban is. He is ubiquitous. Don't discard his talent because you don't care for his choice of material. His voice is, to my untrained ears, flawless. His polished voice felt out of place on America, but his treatment of Silent Eyes was moving and powerful. I never thought anyone could sing Bridge Over Trouble Waters as well as Art Garfunkel (including Paul himself), but I was wrong.

Gone at Last, Duncan, The Boxer, the Sound of Silence: Gillian Welch and Dave Rawlings- I am always surprised by how much northerners love southern music. The bluegrass/folk princess brought the house down. (Side note: Gillian is herself a native of Manhattan.) Most impressive in her 4 song set was Duncan. It takes a certain level of self awareness to sing that song without sounding trite. She sailed through it effortlessly. Dave Rawlings gives a depth to any song that normally is accomplished with three or more guitars.

Paul Simon took the stage throughout the show to sing a verse, a chorus or to play guitar. He performed solo on Me and Julio Down By the Schoolyard and 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover early in the show. He closed the night out with Mrs. Robinson, Train In the Distance, How Can You Live in the Northeast, Only Living Boy in New York and Late in the Evening. His voice is still strong. His stage presence can silence an audience seconds before or after they erupt into applause. He is generous with the spotlight, sharing the love of the audience with all the performers and bowing, hands clasped before him to the crowd.

I had joked in the weeks leading up to this show that I just couldn't talk about it. I was too excited. Now, having seen Paul Simon live, I find that I really cannot find the words to express my feelings. I was in awe. I still am.

I managed to sneak a few pictures, some video clips and a few audio recordings. Look for those to go up in the next few days.